Santa wears camo

Growing up "under privileged" I do not remember ever believing in Santa. It must have been so hard on my mother to tell us at such a young age. I can recall being the only person who did not believe in my first grade class. We did not qualify for much government assistance but a few times per year we would receive food and gifts on Christmas. We received gifts from Toys for Tots a few years. The gifts were delivered Christmas morning with the tag "girl 10yrs old" or "Boy 12yrs old". Knowing where the gifts came from was an even better feeling than thinking Santa brought them. I was so thankful for those presents, my heart still warms at the though. To know that people I didn't even know came together to give us a good Christmas. I will never forget that awesome feeling of gratitude. I know it warmed my mothers heart as well to see us open those presents on Christmas morning. As an adult I donate un unwrapped toy every year at the store drop box in hopes it will reach a deserving child just as it did me. Giving from your heart and loving gratitude are the true meanings of Christmas.

"The Way" of St James

One week after returning from Greece with no money left to my name, my good friend handed me a book. The book was about the 40 day pilgrimage in Spain she will be taking in six months. I though she was crazy but as a good supportive friend I read the book. It took one day to complete the book and one day to be completely hocked on the idea of this amazing pilgrimage. That same friend also later lent me the movie "The Way' about the exact route we would be taking. El Camino de Santiago or The Way of Saint James in English. An 800km hike through North Western Spain starting in France. Staying at pilgrim hostels along the way at night after hiking all day. How could I possibly afford this? The real question is how could I possibly not do this. Though my travels thus far have thought me so much about myself, I still longed for more of a personal, spiritual experience. The type of spiritual awaking that only comes from a degree of suffering and plenty of time for self reflection. Originally a religious pilgrimage for Catholic's, people from every faith do this pilgrimage for many different reasons. The most popular reasons are health, spiritual and religious reasons. Its "your own Camino" meaning the experience is for you to interpret your own way. In my heart I know I am meant to do this, I can feel it. I can feel it as strong as the feeling I get caring for a sick baby right before he/she shows the signs of being sick. That "nurse feeling" that comes from years of experience in the field. But this wasn't in the plans... I was to focus on School this year, not save tirelessly for another adventure overseas. I have learned to follow my heart and let it guide me in life. My heart is leading me to The El Camino de Santiago. But how can I possibly afford this? Well with a good plan and 6 months I can make it possible. $50 per week will pay for the plane ticket all my clothes and gear can be purchased at thrift stores or possibly borrowed. This would be my cheapest trip costing $10 per day for the hostels plus food along the way. I can only take a little over 2 weeks off from work so at the last 300 miles I will meet up with my friend and her mom. They will be seasoned pros by that time, well on their way to spiritual clarity. I am hoping this will be my last trip and the lessons learned on the Camino will lead me to a fulfilling relationship with the man I will marry. Or maybe I will just write a book about chafing on the Camino..

Whats in a name?

Italian American born in New York, on Christmas Day, on the one year anniversary of the unexpected passing of my maternal grandfather. I have always felt my mother missed the mark when naming me. Something festive like "Holy Noel" Or Italian like "Angelina" Instead she named me Melissa. Growing up I met very few people named Melissa, none of whom became friends. In school everyone was named Jessica or Jennifer. Melissa just doesn't scream any ethnicity like "Erin" or "Liam" would. As an adult over the past few years I have met way to many people named Melissa. Every Melissa I have met is of a different ethnicity. From different places Such as: Greece, El Salvador, Uruguay, New York, New Jersey, Texas, Spanish, Caucasian, African American, Christian and Jewish. The name originally Greek means Honey Bee. I knew the name was Greek, and may explain why I felt the affinity to visit Greece so badly. Mythology says Melissa was the daughter to the King of the Greek Island of Crete and was the nymph baby nurse to Zeus. She fed him milk mixed with honey. She was apparently turned into a bee as punishment for hiding baby Zeus from his father, whom wanted him dead. Interesting because I am a baby nurse. I now embrace my name because of its diversity. I like the fact that by my first name alone you can not tell what ethnicity I am. My name is just like me, multi cultural, well traveled and full of meaning. My name didn't chose my destiny I chose my destiny.

Favorites

When it comes to family, everyone has a favorite, for me its my cousin Jason. Ten years older than me, he tormented me as a child. After graduation he went on to the NAVY and I watched him live out life on his terms. The first of our family to go to Europe, and visit Las Vegas, just to name a few of the cool things he did. With this influence I wanted to be like him when I grew up. As adults the ten years between us didn't matter anymore and we became close friends. Remaining close with our busy life's became easy because the universe kept bringing us together at unsuspected places without planning. Such as running into eachother on my lunch break at the hospital my first year as a nurse and even being at the Grand Canyon on the same day last year. He was visiting phoenix and I visiting Las Vegas. After losing my brother I now know why the universe kept bringing us together, because he would one day be the only man in my life. Last week at the age of 40 he got married and I gained a new cousin. My shrinking family is becoming whole again.

My Hero

I am lucky enough to witness the will and determination of premature babies on a daily basis,they are my heroes. With every breath they struggle to take and every swallow of milk I am reminded of just how awesome the spirit of the premature baby truly is. They never give up, complain or feel bad for themselves. I mean how could they, they are babies whom have never left the hospital. Some babies can stay in the NICU for up to 5 months, struggling to do the same things that come easy to their counterparts whom were born at term. I truly realized the struggles of these babies while training for my first half marathon. My out of shape lungs and sore muscles reminded me of what a premature baby goes through every minute of every day. Just breathing on your own with under developed lungs is like running a marathon without any training for premature babies. With our help these babies train to run the marathon of life outside of the NICU, One step at a time. Every time I am doing something strenuous I think of the determination and will power of the babies I care for, and it gets me through. When I think that I can not run one more minute because of soreness or shortness of breath, I think of them and it gets me through.

Topdeck Greek Island Hopping

Last month I finally went on the Greek Island Hopping Holiday I've been dreaming of as well as working two jobs to save for. After 20 extra shifts as a NICU nurse the trip was paid for. I chose to go with Topdeck Travel instead of my beloved Contiki travel company. The Topdeck tour was on land instead of a cruise ship and was half the price, spending more time in the islands. I booked the transfer from Athens airport to the Athens hotel starting point on Citydiscovery.com. Upon arrival a well dressed, good looking Greek man was waiting for me holding a sign with my name. I arrived to the hotel around 10:00am, just in time to have some breakfast from the hotels complementary buffet. My roommate had already checked in a few days before, therefore I was able to go to my room before check in to shower and nap before the 5:00pm group meeting. A huge blessing considering I would have had to wait until 3:00pm to check in. My roommate, a 24 year old girl from New Zealand also traveling alone. This her first such tour, me the season pro. With her calm energy and innocent smile, we hit it off right away. The first "Kiwi" friend I have ever made. Looking back my best memories over the ten day holiday were the late night girl talks in our hotel room. The closest thing to a sleepover a grownup can have. We all met that night at the group meeting, there was about 35 of us from all over the world. 2 Americans, 4 Canadian's 3 Kiwi's and the rest Australians. The one other American was a 29 year old girl from Kentucky, an attorney whom left her practice and sold everything to travel, my southern soul mate. Her passion for children, animals and world travel warmed my soul. I truly believe we were meant to meet. Every person on the tour was fun, care free and drama free. The average age was younger than I had expected, most people were early 20's. I the oldest girl of course with one guy older than me. Most people were backpacking for months at a time. I on the other hand was only there for that trip and still somehow had the most luggage. Most people chose the obviously better option of a backpack. If I could do It over again I would use the backpack option and pack less. When packing it never donned on me the amount of time I would be carrying the luggage myself from port to port between the islands. The first night and every night thereafter for the remainder of the tour we feasted on Greek cuisine, wine and shots. The tour manager, an authentic 36 year old Greek. His fun carefree spirit was contagious, I could not have asked for a better guide. He was also very cute, so that helps too. We did everything the brochure promised and more. The best part was no sales pitches like contiki tries to slip in everywhere at every chance. Every hotel was awesome through the trip. Every accommodation except Santorini was on the water. Because the tour was in October right before season end the weather was perfect, nowhere was crowded and many times we seemed to be the only guests in the hotels. This tour had plenty of free time for personal reflection, and relaxation. Every island was more beautiful than the last. I recomend doing as many extra group activities as possible, they were all awesome. Especially the sailing in santorini, with swimming in the hot spring and donkey ride. The entire holiday was like something from a movie, but it did come to an end. The only con of the entire trip was the 8hr transfer from santorini back to Athens. Staying longer in santorini and taking a plane would have been an option but would require leaving the awesome group of friends I just made even earlier. At the end we all exchanged contact information and will stay friends forever. In hopes of a reunion someday, somewhere, god willing.

The best gift the universe has given me

I have long said, the best gift the universe could have possibly given me was my nursing degree. A divine force took my hand and led me through. A poor girl with a learning disability and no dad. None of my high school friends went on to graduate collage and have careers, most childhood friends overdosed on drugs and died shortly after high school. I always dreamed of being a nurse so it was a no brainer what I would do with my life. I knew one thing for certain.... I did not want to live my life paycheck to paycheck at a job I hated. High School was an everyday struggle academically, and almost didn't graduate. Resulting in having to take night and weekend classes to graduate on time with my friends. My career has opened up so many doors for me both professionally and personally. I am living a life I could have never imagined fifteen years ago.