What your Crossfit Coach won't tell you

Crossfit is a progressive sport; everyone at every level is training hard to improve. Chances are nobody from your box is going to The Games, they have just been doing it longer. Crossfit doesn’t lie, if there is a weakness Crossfit will find it. If you have poor posture, tight shoulders from work stress, poor diet, beginning stages of arthritis, don’t drink enough water or just a poor attitude. Crossfit will find it and expose it. How you overcome those weaknesses is what defines you as an athlete. So many laymen talk about how unsafe the sport is. From my experience every “injury” has simply been a weakness Crossfit found. I had a decision to blame the sport and quit or take a closer look at myself. On closer examination Crossfit was finding things I knew but chose to ignore as well as brought things to the surface, I could have never imagined. Chronic pain brought me to the gym, as those pains went away more were surfacing. Back problems due to a poor core, posture and weight gain. Weakness in old sports injuries, as well as in my own mind. That age old theory from grade school saying “sport is 90% mental and 10% physical. The only thing harder than training your physical body is training your mind. Most of us never truly succeed in getting out of our own way. One such weakness for me is showing vulnerability. As a single, career women, who travels the world alone. I work hard to not be vulnerable. Such weakness opens you up to being a victim. This brick wall keeps me safe when overseas alone sleeping in hostels, and puts the parents of my tiny premature patients at ease, but it also keeps good people away. My Crossfit box has served as a safe place to be vulnerable. A place where nobody judges me for being afraid to do a handstand or perform heavy Olympic lifts. We are all created equal, we are all a community. All there for the common purpose to be healthier and achieve a better self.

El Camino de Santiago One Year Later

Its been one year since packing all necessities on my back and trekking through northern Spain in search of love, forgiveness, friendship and life's purpose. With the weight of my burdens and the burden of my weight on my back. The Camino provided in ways I could never have imagined, and continues to provide one year later. Upon arriving in Santiago and coming home I did not feel closer to god, today however I am closer to god and organized religion than ever. Finding my way back to my old church on a regular basis, worshiping along side my peers. Though it was not Catholicism, rather a non-denominational mega church I followed my heart back to. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded in some way of my time on the Camino. Some mornings when up particularly early the smell of morning dew reminds me of the early morning hikes. Even figuring out the perfect authentic sangria recipe as well as founding a local bar that has Spanish beer. Everyday in some way, I reflect on the simplicity of life on the Camino. Finding myself over stimulated and exhausted when life gets too busy. The Camino taught me to relax and take time to myself. As well as the importance and courage to say "no" to favors and activities that will overstimulate, stress and take time away from daily reflection. Before the Camino I was spreading myself too thin leaving no time for much else. Never much of a TV watcher, don't think I have watched TV once since returning. Rather choosing to read or journal, just as I did every night on the Camino. As far as having "faith" in love, that is still a daily struggle. Some days are better than others, but I can honestly say deep down in my heart I know I will someday find love, when the timing is right. Upon leaving certain burdens at Cruz de Ferro with my rock and prayer at Santiago, I have never looked back on them. The burden of guilt, and shame was truly lifted off my shoulders. The Camino taught me I am my own person and cant hold the burdens of others indiscretions on my back. The weight is just to heavy, and was never mine to carry to begin with.

Love Always Wins

Like every American I felt especially helpless in the wake of the Orlando shooting. Orlando, a town near and dear to my heart. No stranger to the Orlando night life, many crazy stories started at bars and clubs there. With Pride events all over the country planned in memory of the Stonewall riots. This year, less than a month from the shooting, it was especially important to show support. Important to support love, and give love. No stranger to the local gay bars, friends and I often have “girls night out’ here to escape the judgment, glaring eyes and disrespect that is all too common of the straight guys in straight bars. A place we can simply dance, have fun and not be judged. This night police presence was especially apparent and spirits were at an all time high. The bestie and I dressed in matching “love” tee shirts and rainbow tights. As we stood lined up along a one mile parade barricade with everyone else, we felt no fear, only love. I felt proud to support peace, love and happiness. As the parade went by I collected beads, pride bracelets and more condoms than I could ever use. Though the bestie and I “looked” like a couple it must have been blatantly obvious we were not, by the handfuls of condoms I received. graciously taking them as good luck charms. The next day while shopping at Target, a girl of about ten years old, passing the Pride shirts asked her mother if she could get one. Her mom responded with “yes as long as you know what it means”. As the girl was explaining to her mother what Pride means to her, the mother glances over at my rainbow bracelets and smiles. I had completely forgotten I was still wearing them. I glanced back at her and smiled, feeling no need to correct her assumption. Her daughter also wanted to do her part to spread love over hate and show support. I quickly ran off to another isle in the store as tears filled my eyes. Right then and there I realized we are going to be okay. LOVE will always win.

Couch to Crossfit.. One year of Crossfit.

Its been one year since joining my local Crossfit "box" and the "gains" have been immeasurable. I joined at the beginning of the year for the soul purpose of cross training for the El Camino De Santiago 6 months away and to cross train for my dream of competing and finishing a Half Ironman before my 35th birthday. Almost immediately I experienced unexpected set backs as well as life changing results. For months I was only able to go once per week due to soreness and that one day per week was unable to finish the "WOD" without experiencing severe nausea and fatigue. A few times the nausea became unbearable and had to step away for a "sneaky puke" to finish the WOD. This opened my eyes to how truly unfit my thirty something self was. Slowly I learned what and when to eat before working out and found a pre and post workout that my stomach could handle. The recovery tactics of high school sports and 1/2 marathon training were no longer cutting it. Around this same time work and life stress were at an all time high so the distraction was much needed for sanity. One day a few months in I realized something.... I was no longer experiencing chronic pain in my head, neck and shoulders. That I had learned to live with over the past ten years. The stretching, functional mobility movements and upper body workouts cured my pain. Once again my eyes were opened to the effects my lifestyle was having on my body and overall health. Stress of working over sixty hours per week at two stressful demanding jobs was taking its toll. This guided me in the decision to quit my second job and work less hours at my primary job. During the month off to hike The El Camino in Spain, I had the option to cancel my membership. However deciding to keep it active to ensure I would return to the box and continue the work started. While hiking The Camino I experienced injuries of my legs further stressing the importance of a healthy pain free body. After about the 8 month mark I started having severe lower back pain rendering me unable to finish the WOD on several occasions. Being a nurse, and having an awesome coach. I learned the pain was due to tight muscles, poor core control and strength. Those pesky pounds around the mid section acquired eating my way through Europe weren't helping. For the first time I was faced with the age old dilemma of needing to lose weight to workout but needing to workout to lose weight. I now officially had crossfit homework, Stretch, stretch stretch!!! Stretching and core exercises are working and my back tightness is almost never a problem anymore. Around the nine month mark I am finally able to go twice per week and crush the workouts. I have never slept so good in my life, I am no longer relentlessly craving carbs and my "functional anxiety" is gone. Still no budge in the scale, but am extremely pleased with the results. At the eleven month mark I start looking forward to the WOD's even checking them online the night before. My mindset is no longer cross training but embracing the actual sport of Crossfit. At the twelve month mark I decide to increase my membership to unlimited and register as an athlete in The Crossfit Open three months away. I even postpone a trip to Eastern Europe planned at the same time and use the planned time off from work to focus on competing. My one year stats: Number of pull-ups = zero, number of 20 inch box jumps = zero, Number of handstand pushups = zero...... Pounds lost = zero. Last time I had the cleanest house and best manacured dogs on the block = 12 months.

Camino Reflections. My personal spiritual experience on the Camino.

I did not have one huge spiritual awakening upon arriving to Santiago, but I did achieve everything I set out for am more. Thanks to many physical injuries while on the Camino, I learned that no matter what obstacles I endure I will always be okay and things are not that bad. I will especially be okay in everything I do when following my heart. In life many things do not come easy which makes achieving them that much more rewarding. Life is full of struggles and pain, its how we chose to see it and deal with it that makes all the difference. Everywhere along the Camino are taxi signs and bus routes. At any point you can get your stamp for the day and cab it to the next hostel. The Camino taught me to not always take the easy way out and struggle can be well worth it in the end. A lesion for my love life. Years ago I stopped dating all together telling myself I was waiting for "someone special" or was just to "busy" to date. I know now that I was taking the easy path of no resistance. The path that kept me from getting hurt. Love like the Camino is hard but worth every step. Being on the Camino did not make me feel closer to god, though the feeling of thousands of years of history was unmistakable. Upon arriving in Santiago I was overwhelmed with emotion and cried through the entire Pilgrims Mass. I have never felt so close to organized religion and its beliefs in my life. During the Mass I felt an odd sense of completeness and love. I made a point of visiting St James' Tomb while in Santiago. The reason for thousands of years of pilgrim's and my personal/physical struggles over the past 14 days. When I got to the tomb I was underwhelmed to say the least. Simply a gold bust of the saint. I hiked all the way for this? Is this even him? Is there even any remains here? I asked a few fellow pilgrims their take on the tomb and the overwhelming response was "faith" you "just believe". This concept was foreign to me. As a NICU nurse I see gods existence as black and white proof everyday. The concept of "just believing" brought tears to my eyes. I have to have faith and believe I will find love, have a family and be okay in life. I may have zero proof such things are obtainable but I need to have "faith". I need to believe with all my heart. They say the Camino makes you more simple and teaches you how little you truly need to survive. This lesion I learned long ago in efforts to save money for world travel. I wouldn't say I learned to be more simple but I did learn the priceless value of the simple things like; health, friendship and balance. With all my ailments along the way I learned to appreciate my health, my body and all it is able to do for me. 90% of the time I hiked alone but everyday the value of friendship on the Camino was apparent. I was blessed to meet many awesome pilgrims from all over the world, who truly inspired me to keep going. The simplicity the Camino taught me was that I don't always have to be saving for another great adventure overseas. I can have great adventure here at home. I was hoping time on the Camino would help me to grieve and forgive my brother. At the rock mountain, with a rock in hand from my childhood home. I told the universe I forgive. Though I didn't believe it myself, I at least put it out there to the universe. The burden of guilt would be left there with my rock. At the pilgrims mass every word was in Spanish except a few powerful words spoken clearly in English during the closing prayer. "Forgive those who have lost their way". After hearing this I began to cry uncontrollably. The first time I have allowed myself to cry. At that time I knew it was time to forgive and move on. The burden of guilt and shame was lifted and I was free. I can hold my head high again. In conclusion I learned pain in unavoidable however suffering is optional. I chose not to suffer. I chose to live heaven here on earth. I chose to have "faith".

Packing for The Camino: 20 must haves

With my Camino 50 days away I have finalized my "packing list" necessities for Camino survival. 1. Good hiking backpack fitted by a professional. This the most expensive idem on the list, expect to spend $160-200 on this necessity. 2. Good hiking shoes that are waterproof ($100-$200) 3. Hiking sandals with closed toe for blocking sand and rocks. A life saver for sore blistered feet while hiking. ($100-$150) 4. Hiking socks made of synthetic material that keeps feet dry, I chose wool. ($10-$20 each) 5. Sleeping liner. I chose a bedbug sleeping liner over a sleeping bag. This was a personal choice based on the time of year. ($30) 6. Flip Flops for the shower and changing into after hiking. ($5-$10) 7. Wilderness wash. This 3ml bottle of concentrated wash can be used for everything from body to clothes or dishes. Bottle is airline approved. ($8.75) 8. Solid Shampoo bar. I chose a sulfate free ideal for died hair. ($10) 9. Organic Bed bug spray. because its organic pillows and blankets as well as the bed can be sprayed before use. ($6.99) 10. Silk pillow case. I read somewhere that bed bugs don't like silk. Stuff pillow with soft clothes from your pack to make a pillow. ($10) 11. Ear plugs for droning out noisy sleepers in the hostels. ($5) 12. Small flash light for finding the bathroom in the dark hostel. ($2-$5) 13. Head lamp for early morning and night walking. ($20-$30) 14. Quick dry microfiber towel. After showering the material will dry quickly and can be placed back in your pack. I had a hard time finding one big enough, so I actually wound up with a yoga towel. ($20-$30) 15. Poncho big enough to cover your pack. My pack came with a built in rain cover so a regular poncho will do.large ponchos are considerably more expensive($10-$50) 16. Hat for blocking sun ($10) 17. Sunglasses. obviously price will vary based on personal preference. (I paid $15) 18. Sunblock. I have sensitive skin so I purchased a silver nitrate sunblock. ($10) 19. European adaptor for electronics. ($10) 20. 3 dryfit gym outfits. Dry fit will keep you comfortable while hiking and will dry quickly to be placed back in the pack after washing. I know nothing about distance hiking but I know what's comfortable for me while at the gym or running. A personal preference based on past experiences.

Preparing for The Camino

Without knowing it I have been preparing spirituality, mentally and physically for the Camino for years. Since that first trip overseas alone. For two and a half years, I have been on this spiritual journey. Discovering my authentic self, and spirituality by leaving my comfort zone. Exploring new land and culture while also finding myself. These experiences are what have lead my heart to The Camino. Adventures of the past few years have taught me so much, while also accidently leaving me dateless and celibate. Not intentionally Just ran out of time in the day for dating. Having my head and heart clear of boy drama, has added in my self discovery and spirituality. Which can only be an asset on the Camino. As for physical preparation, I feel I am in good enough shape for the walk. I work 13hr shifts on my feet as a nurse, have ran and walked half marathons and play competitive sports. However I never did any of these things with a 20 pound pack on my back. Therefore I joined the local Crossfit gym a few months before to work on core and upper body strength. The strength and stamina gained at Crossfit can only help on the Camino. I never expected to love Crossfit, but that's a whole other blog post. As for mental preparation I have been reading everything Camino Including guide books, blogs and step by step accounts by authors whom have done the walk. Less than ideal lodging on past trips overseas has added in the transition to staying in pilgrim's hostels. Over packing on previous trips has prepared me mentally for living out of a backpack with only bare necessities. I am better versed on what I truly need. Unlike others on the Comino, this journey isn't a starting point to clarity it serves as a ending point to years of soul searching. I may never be done searching but when I reach Santiago I will be that much closer.