Christmas Babies

This Christmas just like every Christmas before, I will be spending it saving babies that share my birthday. For as long as I can remember I have always despised sharing my birthday with Jesus. I mean how can you possibly compete with that? Growing up and still today it is impossible to have a formal party and celebrate the normal way. To my family however my date of birth has always been a blessing. Christmas day the year before I was born, my Grandfather passed unexpectedly. One year later I was born, the final Christmas present from my grandfather to my mother. I never got the chance to meet him, but I choose to work on Christmas day as a means of remembering him. I will be forever grateful to the doctors, nurses and paramedics that were away from family working that day. I am also forever grateful to the doctors and nurses whom delivered me via c section on Christmas morning. For these reasons I choose to work and allow others to be off with family. As my immediate family gets smaller and smaller working on this day has taken on a whole new meaning. Spending my birthday doing the job I love with my awesome coworkers whom have been by my side for the past ten years is a blessing. On Christmas morning I choose to care for the sickest baby in the unit. I know how hard it is to lose a loved one on Christmas and I vowed to do everything possible to make sure it will not happen on my watch. Even if I have to give CPR until the clock strikes midnight on the 26th, that's what I will do. A few friends of mine have also lost relatives on Christmas day and its something you never get over. For this reason my Grandma and I were extremely close. The only daughters, daughter born on the one year anniversary. My birth day gave grandma something else to associate Christmas with.....A Christmas miracle, grandpas final gift.

Santa wears camo

Growing up "under privileged" I do not remember ever believing in Santa. It must have been so hard on my mother to tell us at such a young age. I can recall being the only person who did not believe in my first grade class. We did not qualify for much government assistance but a few times per year we would receive food and gifts on Christmas. We received gifts from Toys for Tots a few years. The gifts were delivered Christmas morning with the tag "girl 10yrs old" or "Boy 12yrs old". Knowing where the gifts came from was an even better feeling than thinking Santa brought them. I was so thankful for those presents, my heart still warms at the though. To know that people I didn't even know came together to give us a good Christmas. I will never forget that awesome feeling of gratitude. I know it warmed my mothers heart as well to see us open those presents on Christmas morning. As an adult I donate un unwrapped toy every year at the store drop box in hopes it will reach a deserving child just as it did me. Giving from your heart and loving gratitude are the true meanings of Christmas.

"The Way" of St James

One week after returning from Greece with no money left to my name, my good friend handed me a book. The book was about the 40 day pilgrimage in Spain she will be taking in six months. I though she was crazy but as a good supportive friend I read the book. It took one day to complete the book and one day to be completely hocked on the idea of this amazing pilgrimage. That same friend also later lent me the movie "The Way' about the exact route we would be taking. El Camino de Santiago or The Way of Saint James in English. An 800km hike through North Western Spain starting in France. Staying at pilgrim hostels along the way at night after hiking all day. How could I possibly afford this? The real question is how could I possibly not do this. Though my travels thus far have thought me so much about myself, I still longed for more of a personal, spiritual experience. The type of spiritual awaking that only comes from a degree of suffering and plenty of time for self reflection. Originally a religious pilgrimage for Catholic's, people from every faith do this pilgrimage for many different reasons. The most popular reasons are health, spiritual and religious reasons. Its "your own Camino" meaning the experience is for you to interpret your own way. In my heart I know I am meant to do this, I can feel it. I can feel it as strong as the feeling I get caring for a sick baby right before he/she shows the signs of being sick. That "nurse feeling" that comes from years of experience in the field. But this wasn't in the plans... I was to focus on School this year, not save tirelessly for another adventure overseas. I have learned to follow my heart and let it guide me in life. My heart is leading me to The El Camino de Santiago. But how can I possibly afford this? Well with a good plan and 6 months I can make it possible. $50 per week will pay for the plane ticket all my clothes and gear can be purchased at thrift stores or possibly borrowed. This would be my cheapest trip costing $10 per day for the hostels plus food along the way. I can only take a little over 2 weeks off from work so at the last 300 miles I will meet up with my friend and her mom. They will be seasoned pros by that time, well on their way to spiritual clarity. I am hoping this will be my last trip and the lessons learned on the Camino will lead me to a fulfilling relationship with the man I will marry. Or maybe I will just write a book about chafing on the Camino..